Everyone talks about it, yet only a few understand what it really means:
Self Love. Some people would even label “loving yourself” as selfish, unnecessary or weak when in fact this couldn’t be further from the truth. Self-love not only impacts our health and relationships but also (foremost) our business. To make it short, self love is the most direct way to our desires, but it can be scary.
We live in an awareness deficient society, constantly depleting itself and running on empty. Therefore burnout, restlessness, and high-stress levels can become the default for a majority of the population nowadays.
Experiencing this low-frequency range of emotions on a regular basis is a red flag that gives us the opportunity to take inventory of when we are out of alignment with ourselves. This is when self-love comes into play. Taking good care of ourselves as well as prioritizing our emotional wellbeing is a natural extension of us showing ourselves respect and honoring our body, mind, heart, and soul.
The crux nobody tells us is…
Why should we prioritize it? Because our life depends on it. The longest relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves. So it better be a good one. Imagine what qualities you’d like to see in your partner. Most likely it will be along the lines of trusting, unconditionally loving, compassionate, kind and reliable – so I ask you: do you offer these qualities to your self? The crux nobody tells us is: In order to love ourselves, we first need to become self-aware, secondly we have to accept ourselves and third, gain self-love through developing compassion for ourselves while seeing ourselves completely for who we are. And this can be scary.
Self Love means knowing your worth (regardless of circumstances). Besides mental health, emotional well-being and fulfilling relationships self love directly effects our business: asking for more money and charging according to our value. Especially on the entrepreneurial journey, it’s mandatory to be in a healthy relationship with ourselves. Self love helps us to be more efficient and on target. It helps us to forgive ourselves for mistakes, find new solutions, and get back on track.
The question is, why should we even (self-) care?
Self care is the natural extension of the love we have for ourselves (it’s also possible to use self care as a bridge to reclaim more self love) We have to be aware though: self care means something different for every person. Based on our blueprint we all have many different ways to show ourselves appreciation because we all enjoy and value different things. The question is, why should we even (self-) care?
True self care can only occur the moment we know ourselves. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking part in the tenth yoga retreat – when in fact it’s not even something that fuels you. We’re still used to outsourcing ourselves in search for answers (that can only found within) externally. We want to give the responsibility away instead of taking responsibility.
Self love is radical
To love ourselves means to constantly (at least as much as possible) act and think in accordance with our divine self. This implies we have to accept our own greatness and power. And this can radically conflict with the image that we hold of ourselves (on a conscious or subconscious level). Most of us have experienced – at least to some degree – circumstances and events that have wired our brain in such a way that it unconsciously traps us in a web of limited programming. This could show up in habits like proving yourself, being addicted to struggle or seeking significance through being clever, pretty, achieving a lot (you name it).
This means we have to die to certain concepts that we have internalized (most of them in childhood). Self love is radical. It shakes us up into who we truly are.
It means a full-on resurrection of ourselves. We have to look ourselves in the eye for all that we are – and for all that we are not.
It frees us from self-imposed slavery and leads to authentic expression
Self love is the art of seeing and accepting ourselves to such a degree, that it effortlessly leads into holding space for our full self. Discovering who we truly are means the willingness to face confrontations, standing up for oneself and having conversations about needs and wants instead of shying away. Self love is nothing for the fearful. Naturally, some people, habits, and things will leave in order to make space for things that are more in alignment. It’s a highly cathartic process which frees us from self-imposed slavery and leads to authentic expression and truth.
For me personally, self love means being so clear in our personal tone (without any dissonance) that we are able to shape a symphony of sound with someone else’s tone and create our own harmony. What are your thoughts? Comment below!